Sometimes I forget how beautiful The Bay is and how I take this city for granted.
{taken with iPhone 4}
Feeling the Fall/Winter weather this year.
{Dress: Cotton On, Faux fur vest: Forever21, high socks: Uniqlo, boots: Christian Soriano for Payless, accessories: H&M & Forever 21}
New life has begun, which means…. NEW GOALS to achieve.
New life, New goals.
So many things to be thankful for, of course, I always am.
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So lately, I’ve been hanging out with my Grandma. I didn’t realize how much I missed her until now. She’s getting old and I want to make up for the time I didn’t get to see her, but also makes me think of my other grandparents, of course. My grandma is the only grandparent I have left, and it refreshing to know that God hasn’t taken her yet, and I hope He won’t anytime soon. I know that He’s keeping her here for a great purpose.
So this will a random blab blog.
Is it weird to think that I’m actually an adult now? That I have grow up? I never really felt like an adult until recently. I have a lot of goals that I want to achieve, the question is, “can I do it?” I have always doubted myself, because if you know me, I have the lowest self-esteem & self-confidence. I never think I can actually do anything and actually be great at it. I’m scared to face anything scary, I guess, so I always give up and never finish any goals (even if it was the easiest/smallest goal) I had in the past. My mom always tells me that I’m the type of person who isn’t scared of a lot things, unlike my sister, who is always in her shell and that I’m strong in my own way. I never thought I was strong, I just thought I was an average person, just like any other individual. But she says, even as a kid, she never really had to worry about me. But the older I get, I see a lot more of where my personality comes from. I’m not sure I like it. I always try to re-evaluate and change myself, but I always go back to how I am. I don’t know, I can’t explain it in words. Someone told me that because I’m always so busy paying attention to others, I never pay attention to myself, which means I can’t love who I am. I think she’s right. I never really paid attention, or if I did, I forget about it, but I feel like this is my nature: to please everyone else before me. I’ve always been this way, so hard to change it.
